Happy Birthday Dad Drawing Ideas

Fathers all dread that moment when their daughter brings home her first boyfriend. The problem is that we dads were all adolescent boys ourselves once. We know what they're like.

My daughter, Kirsten, is 10. I'm still enjoying the fact that girls tend to be more mature than boys at this age. But change is around the corner. And maturity looks less appealing when it equates to a date with a lad from the year above at school.

I've joked to friends that I'll be worse than Robert De Niro's character in Meet the Parents. In truth, I won't allow myself to fall into that trap. I won't be the kind of dad who tells his daughter she can never go on a date.

Let's face it; if you forbid a teenager to do anything, you only make it more desirable. And of course there's a danger they'll do it behind your back.

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So what qualifies me to discuss this matter when my own daughter hasn't yet reached dating age?

Well, I have spent lots of time with her in recent years. I quit my job as a newspaper editor to become a stay-at-home dad. In doing so I went from absentee father – always at work – to Kirsten's main carer.

I discovered what music, books and TV shows she liked. I got to know her friends. I found out what games she played in the schoolyard and which boys in her class most annoyed her.

I learned how she liked her hair styled in the morning and the right way to make her packed lunch so it didn't come back untouched. In short, I got to know my daughter properly – mainly via lots of one-to-one chats – and it made us closer than ever before.

My wife was the one at home for Kirsten's early years. Then we did a swap. I think this benefitted Kirsten now and for the future by making her adaptable and, thanks to our different parenting methods and outlooks, well balanced. I know for sure that she has a healthy, modern view of gender roles.

The experience affected me deeply too. It inspired me to write a novel, Time to Say Goodbye, about the unique bond between a father and daughter. It also highlighted to me the vital importance of a dad's role in his daughter's development.

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A young girl's interactions with her father shape the way she views herself with regards to members of the opposite sex.

They form the basis of how she expects to be treated. A dad rarely at home, whose love and attention comes in short bursts, risks making her needy. But a close and constant relationship, in which a father's unconditional love is clear, will stand her in good stead when she starts forming significant relationships of her own.

In a nutshell, I think a dad can best help his daughter to have good dates – hopefully leading to satisfactory long-term relationships – simply by spending more time with her. I believe an open, honest and well-maintained father-daughter relationship, established as early as possible, is the best way to prepare for whatever the future brings.

I've done all kinds of 'non-dad' things with Kirsten. Everything from taking her to get her ears pierced to shopping for new underwear. We talk freely about matters like sex and puberty – my wife's Dutch, which helps – and I'm hopeful that will continue when it comes to dating time.

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There's no reason busy working fathers can't do the same on a smaller scale.

One-to-one time shouldn't be the preserve of mother-daughter relationships. A nightly 10-minute bedside chat can work wonders. And how about a father-daughter day out once in a while?

Maybe a walk or a shopping trip followed by a bite to eat. The important thing is that opportunity for both parties to talk and listen; to chat freely, with nothing off limits. This will help engender a faith and confidence in each other, so when that time comes, she's happy to talk about her dating plans and he's willing to trust her judgment.

It's also a great chance for a dad to make his daughter feel special, showing her how she should expect to be treated on a date.

Overall, I think we need to step away from the outdated mum and dad roles of the past and embrace shared parenting.

Men are rarely the sole financial providers in modern families. Women do all kinds of things that were once male-only roles, so why haven't things moved on with men?

Why shouldn't Dad be the one to take his daughter to the hairdresser; to help her pick a party outfit; to discuss what to wear on a date? We're not as useless at these things as some people might think.

Written by S.D. Robertson, author of Time to Say Goodbye - available at Avon HarperCollins, £6.99.

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All images: Getty

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